For the Ones Who Feel Empty in a Life That Looks Full

The Inner Journey that Changed Everything 🌟

I still remember the end of January 2022 as if it was yesterday. I was doing interim HR consultancy and Manager/Director gigs in different companies in Finland. At that time, I had just started a new consultancy project. I received a new laptop, met friendly coworkers and the CEO, and got a clear list of what was expected from me over the coming months.

Externally, everything seemed perfect. The project was well-paid and aligned with my skills.

BUT internally – I was dying. 

Suddenly, I felt a huge lump in my throat, my heart felt very uncomfortable, and somehow I felt very sad and unmotivated to start this new project. I had already begun to quietly question my HR career, as it often left me drained – giving more than I received. But that day, it all came to the surface. At this time, I couldn’t push it down anymore. 

I wasn’t just unmotivated — I actually felt like I cannot do this. This was a project I could have completed in my sleep based on my experience – but something inside me screamed “NO!” And that scream was so strong, so loud, that my body refused to cooperate. Honestly, it did not function. Every cell in me resisted. And in the end, my logical mind had no choice but to surrender. 

My mind, my strong performance-oriented and controlling will, had suddenly lost its power. 

Suddenly, the determined HR Director disappeared.

After just one day, I informed the company I would not continue. And after that moment, my entire life turned upside down…

When Everything External Starts to Crash Down (Career, Relationship, Home, Identity…) 

To keep this blog post a reasonable length, I won’t go into all the (messy) details, but in the months that followed, everything around me began to fall apart.  

What I didn’t understand back then was that it was my soul, my heart – not mind, who had suddenly taken the wheel. 

It was my soul who knew I was ready for this. And yes, my mind was terrified. My mind did not understand at all what was happening to me at that time and of course, that was very scary for the mind. The only thought I had was, “I am losing my mind.” And I basically was, but not in the sense of becoming “crazy”.  The loud, demanding voice of my egomind had suddenly loosened its grip and had let my inner voice, my soul step forward. 

Fast forward from January 2022 — in 6 months I had quit my HR career (or so I thought), had ended a relationship with a kind and loving partner with whom I lived together in a very nice and cozy apartment, and I had started to see weird number sequences and synchronicities leading me to find e.g. a new apartment and somehow survive through this extremely heart-breaking, scary, and sad period of my life.

Suddenly, a completely new world had opened up for me. As if the veil had been lifted from my eyes. 

But my mind could not understand this. What I felt was both exciting and new, but also scary, messy, and very sad. I cried every day and everywhere, yet at the same time experienced weird blissful states — as if I saw everything through new eyes. Everything was suddenly more colourful, more meaningful, more vivid, more beautiful. I’d never seen a sunset or sunrise be that beautiful. Never.

When the “Old Self” Tries to Take the Wheel Again After Awakening Begins

After that extremely hard six-month time period, I had to start rebuilding. I had no income, and no idea what to do next. And because the “old me” and “new me” were still living in the same body, I ended up accepting a few more HR gigs – which brought mainly suffering. 

My heart no longer resonated with that path, but my mind hadn’t fully let go. Looking back, I needed those final experiences. My ego was strong, and sometimes we need to hit the wall several times before we let go. I needed to literally break my mind down. 

In my upcoming blog posts, I’ll share more about the practical tools how to “survive” and go through spiritual awakening — and possible causes of it — but in this post, I want to focus on what a spiritual awakening actually is. And how it can change everything in your life. 

So… What Happened to Me Was a Spiritual Awakening — But What Is That, Really?

The moment people hear words like “spiritual awakening” or “soul,” they often get uncomfortable. It can sound like “woo-woo” stuff. I used to think like that too, a bit. Even though I was always intuitive and sensitive. I even had quietly trained myself in different healing techniques, read countless self-development books, and used healers to support me when my life got really challenging. But at that time, I was not awakened yet. I was just interested in these kind of topics. 

My ego, my mind, wanted me to be seen as logical, intelligent, strong and accomplished. Not as someone who talks with angels or uses spiritual mentors. After all, I was the one who graduated among the top 1 % at Helsinki School of Economics and who worked in challenging HR Director and Manager positions. 

But then, everything cracked open. 

How it Feels to Awaken 

There are millions of people around the world going through an awakening now. Just check the number of followers of Eckhart Tolle or other modern spiritual leaders. Since you are still reading this post, something in here resonates with you. 

Maybe you are like me back then – feeling like wearing a mask, or questioning your career (or your whole life) or you are just feeling empty inside, in a life, that is externally very full. Or maybe your whole life suddenly crashed down, like mine and something inside you started to crack open.  

Spiritual awakening is not “woo-woo” stuff or something that only happens in caves or ashrams after years of meditation. 

It happens in the chaos of everyday life to normal people like me and you.

Spiritual awakening means that

✨You understand you are not your thoughts — neither the beliefs your mind has created about you and about life. 

✨ You start becoming more aware of your thoughts and most likely start noticing how many negative and limiting beliefs you have about your life and yourself. 

✨ You become the observer of your life. You become more conscious. 

✨ You understand you are not the same as your job title — neither the amount of money you have in your bank account.

Through spiritual awakening, you start living more in the present moment — not in the past (worries), neither in the future (anxiety, stress). Your life starts to simplify itself. You start enjoying nature, eating simple and nourishing foods, and you no longer crave external things to make you happy. You still can have externally very “successful” career, but your value as a human being is not dependent on it. 

You find happiness and peace inside you, and external things start losing their power in your life. Somehow you start sensing the fullness of life. When it rains, you no longer want the rain to change into sunshine, but you make the best out of it and let life flow naturally. You start listening to your intuition, your heart — and you start noticing that your heart actually is a much better leader than your mind.  Your career and whole life might change completely if everything you’ve built in your life before was built to feed the ego, and not created from your heart.   

Your creativity starts flowing in, and your heart has opened enough to receive these beautiful universal signs and synchronicities that I wrote about in my previous blog post.

After spiritual awakening, you use your mind as a tool when required (like when you need to calculate something, pay bills, create an action plan, budget etc.). The mind has become your servant — without being your boss anymore.

Spiritual awakening is not any goal you need to reach, neither is it the end of anything. It is a new beginning. But it’s not about becoming someone new. 💫 It’s about remembering who you were before the world told you who to be. 💫

You start the life of BEING rather than doing.

You feel like you’ve finally arrived HOME.

If you are in the middle of your life crumbling down….

If you are in the middle of spiritual awakening — especially in the early or middle parts of it — your life can be very messy, scary, and heart-breaking. I know that, since I’ve been there myself. It is many times through suffering, challenges, feeling huge emptiness inside and your whole life starting to crumble down when the ego starts to break and the soul — the heart — starts opening up.That is exactly the reason why this process can be VERY HEAVY.

I created this blog especially to help people like you. High achievers, sensitive souls, professionals, seekers – people who are waking up in a world that no longer feels right.  I want to help everyone who thinks they are going crazy during this process. 

I want to tell you: you are not crazy. There will come a time when you understand all of this and reach the other end of this very deep and dark tunnel. Inside that dark and scary tunnel, you can usually see only one step forward — and nothing else. But you need to take that step. And hopefully, this blog post is the sign for you to keep going.

Just take the next step.

I am more than willing to help you through sharing my story, and you can contact me at any time through leaving a comment here below or through my Instagram account.

There’s a popular Zen Buddhism quote that before awakening, one must chop wood and carry water, and that after awakening you still keep chopping wood and carrying water. So spiritual awakening does not mean (at least not anymore), that after awakening, you will move high up to the mountains and become a hermit. No. 

You continue living your life, but from the state of really being ALIVE.  

Let’s walk this path together. And remember — there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I promise. ❤️